She’s beautiful in her sleep, her naked body warm and curled against mine. That alarm is going to go off in a little less than half an hour, and the both of us will have to get up and get ready for work and then we’ll have to separate for the rest of the day. If I could stop time I would, and just be here with her, and her alone, no one else.
She lay in my arms last night, naked under a blanket on the couch, watching scary movies. I had forgotten how comfortable that could be. Her head resting against my shoulder, curled into my side, reminding me of the night we went out to the movies. I held her like that until she fell asleep, my hand stroking absently over the curve of her hip. I stopped watching the movie just to watch her as she slept.
It’s lighter now as I look down at her, the sun just up, a pale gold filtered through the bedroom window. She’s dreaming, of something that makes her happy, the ghost of a smile on her lips, her lashes a thick black fan against her cheek, the edges curled up. Does she dream about me the way I dream about her?
Watching her sleep I realize I don’t want her to go. I don’t want her to go to work today. I don’t want her to go home tonight. I want her to stay here with me, forever. I’m getting in so deep and that should really scare the hell out of me but it doesn’t. I don’t intend to tell her how deeply I feel about it, not just yet, but I won’t lie to myself about it either.
I rest on my elbow behind her, after carefully reaching over her to shut the alarm off. I don’t want it to wake her. I’d rather do that myself. She makes that soft purring sound in her sleep as I nuzzle her ear, easing her hair out of the way, as I gently kiss her awake.
“You can be my alarm clock anyday….” Her voice is soft and sleepy, as she turns over in my arms to look up at me. “But you’re going to spoil me.”
“Get used to it, ‘Nette.” We both stop before kissing, and opt for rubbing noses instead. Getting a little drunk with her last night was wonderful, but it tastes as though one of those meatballs wasn’t a meatball at all, but some sort of little furry animal that stayed in my mouth and died there. She takes a quick look at the clock before letting out a sigh, leaning in to wrap her arms around my neck and holding me tightly, pressed into my neck.
Neither one of us is in a rush to get out of bed, both letting out sighs as we watch the clock again. I’m not the only one wanting time to stop. Her fingertips run along my jaw as she asks, “Shower?” I nod, and watch her a little more, as neither of us moves. To hell with it, I lean down to kiss her anyways. “Shower.”
I sit on the edge of the tub, adjusting the water temperature, as she brushes out her long dark hair, brushes her teeth. Leaving her toothbrush with mine in the little cup by the sink. It’s strange the effect some things will have on you. Her pajamas are still under the edge of the bed. That she might start to leave things here makes me very happy.
“You’re joining me this time?” She grins from around the shower curtain, in that quiet seductive way of hers. I don’t answer, just step inside and pull the curtain closed, and kiss her under the hot spray.
“‘Morning, beautiful.” She smiles up at me, blinking water out of her eyes. I turn, so she’s under the spray, watching as her hair grows impossibly dark, the water sheeting down her back in a river. I’m in the way, so I hand her her shampoo, smelling it first. Strawberries.
“Do you like it?”
“On you? Yea, it’s nice.” I watch her a moment longer as she washes it from her hair, putting more stuff in there. “Will you leave it here?” She stops squeezing the water out of her hair, to look up at me. Her eyes are soft, her hand reaching out to rest on my chest. She knows it wasn’t just an innocent question either.
“Yes, I’ll leave it here.” I turn her around to wash her back for her, leaning in to kiss her neck. Her hand reaches up to play over the stubble, up the back of my head, her fingernails scratching there. “If your head starts to smell like strawberries I’m going to wonder about why you asked.” I kiss the side of her neck, watching over her shoulder as her breasts bounce when she laughs.
“I like you leaving stuff here, ‘Nette.” She turns around to face me, her hand against my ear. Still smiling, her eyes are serious and deep, not taking me lightly. “So I should leave my toothbrush and my PJ’s here too…” I lean down to kiss her again, closing my eyes against the spray from the shower. “Yes, and your hairbrush.”
Her hands skim over my chest to rest lightly on my hips. “Should I leave your shirts here too?” She traces the back of a fingernail over the side of my hip, making me squirm, grinning into her neck. Ticklish. “No, those you take with you wherever you go.” I look up from the curve of her neck, to cup her face in my hands. “Because I like the idea of you coming back here, ‘Nette, of you being here.”
A quick intake of breath, as her eyes watch me. Fuck, please don’t panic Jeanette. My hand cups her neck, feeling her pulse race. “I’m sorry, ‘Nette. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push….”
She leans a little closer, balancing on her toes again, taking my bottom lip in her teeth before kissing me hard. When she looks up again, the flicker of panic is gone, her pulse still racing. “Don’t be sorry, it just took me by surprise,” as she drops to her knees, taking ME by surprise.
I was hard already. How could I not be when I was standing so close to her, naked, wet and beautiful. Seeing her on her knees again, looking up at me, makes me groan out loud. My balls tighten painfully as her hand strokes over me slowly, a light squeeze at the base before taking me in her mouth halfway. I reach out to adjust the shower head, turning it to the wall so she doesn’t have to deal with the water in her face as well. She rewards me by taking me deep, once, her teeth scraping a little at the deepest point, her involuntary shudder letting me know she won’t be able to do it again, not without it hurting.
I trace my fingertips over her hair, being careful not to push, to be still. Her lips and tongue stroking over me, her hand taking the rest. I groan again, as her other hand moves off my hip, cupping and gently squeezing my balls. The pressure of her two hands and her incredible mouth setting off stars in my vision. It’s so hard to stay still and passive, when everything in me wants to feel her buck beneath me, to hear her screaming beneath me.
“…fuck….Jeanette…” Panting hard as I watch her, feeling my balls pull up and tighten in her hand, I cupped the back of her head as gently as I could. I can’t take my eyes off her, taking me as deep as she can, her tongue pulling at me harder, sweeping over the rim, swirling at the top, before descending again. That deep hum at the back of her throat setting up a vibration that makes it hard to breath. I want to warn her before I come but I can’t think straight, the burning weight in my belly, the tingling across every nerve ending in me, pushing everything else aside. I watch her eyes flicker closed as I come, taking me deep again for that one bright second in my head, fighting her own discomfort as I slide down her throat, coming hard.
I pull her up off her knees, my hands shaking. The salt tang of my come in her mouth has her hesitate for a split second, unsure, her eyes watching me, slightly puzzled by my reaction. I ignore it and kiss her deeply, passionately. “You’re incredible ‘Nette.”
She blushes furiously, her hand coming up to cover her face before I stop it, holding her still for a moment. Her eyes flick up to me, her wet lashes in dark black spikes. “I love everything about you, don’t be shy.” She reaches up again, her arms around my neck, hugging me hard, her every curve pressed to me. “I love you, Sean.” The words whispered against the skin of my neck, before she kisses me, and gets out of the shower to get dressed.
I watch her for a moment, as she absently smoothes a wrinkle out of her skirt, after pulling it out of the bag she had stuffed it in last night. I don’t even know if I have an iron, but she doesn’t seem too concerned over it. She doesn’t fuss over her clothes too much. Still, I might have to look into getting an iron, or at least cleaning out a space for her in my closet.
Alvarez knocks on the front door, before using his key. Calling out hello around the partially open front door. I take a quick peak into the bedroom to make sure Jeanette is dressed, before yelling for him to come in.
“You look good, Vetter. Maybe a day off is exactly what you needed.” He flashes a leer at me as he catches sight of Jeanette, handing me a bag with breakfast in it. A hideous purple shirt with orange flowers. One day away from his shirts is all it took to wear down my immunity to them.
“That reminds me, I have something for you, Alvarez.” I grab the two kazoos that Jeanette picked up when we went shopping off the kitchen counter. “Well, a present for the boys.”
I watch his reaction in the reflection of the kitchen window as I fix coffee for him and Jeanette. “You”ve got a mean streak, Vetter. I never would have guessed that.”
I hand him the cup, laughing, “You can blame Jeanette. She’s the one that saw them and figured it would be the perfect gift.”
“Remind me never to get her mad at me….”, He turns to Jeanette who’s peeked around the corner at the sound of her name. Alvarez hugs her quickly, looking down at the scratch on her arm where she was cut by the flying glass. It’s not completely healed, but it looks a lot better than it did. “Good morning, Jeanette.”
Alvarez gives me a funny look when he takes his coffee and danish outside. Jeanette, already sitting outside on the top step with her coffee and a cup of yogurt, looks up at me and blushes, her face breaking into a huge grin. Neither one of us makes a move to explain why there are broken dishes, with spaghetti and meatballs, scattered across the back porch.
Alvarez looks from Jeanette to me, and back again, shaking his head and smiling at the both of us. Jeanette blushes furiously, dropping her head and getting fascinated by her yogurt. I smile down at her, my hand running through her hair as I go back into the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan to clean it up. I don’t quite know what got into me last night, but I haven’t felt like that in years, a lot of years. I could blame the three glasses of wine I had but I don’t think that would be the whole truth. She makes me feel alive.
Jeanette sits in the back seat chewing on her bottom lip, her fingers in knots, as we pull onto the street in front of the bookstore. She was quiet on the drive here, her whole body seeming to get smaller the closer we got. I watched her in the side mirror for a minute as we drove, before reaching back to touch her knee. Panic. She’s terrified.
I tell Alvarez to stop the car two stores before we pull in front of the bookstore and get out, to sit on the edge of the backseat with her. Alvarez is turned in his seat, watching her carefully, leaving the engine running.
“‘Nette? Jeanette?” Her skin is cold and clammy, her eyes widen as she looks out the window at the bookstore. I touch her jaw, holding her chin in my hand so she has to look at me, her breath fast and shallow. Her knuckles are white, as she fights for control of herself, blinking back tears.
I pull her closer to me, holding her tight against my chest, her body trembling. “‘Nette, if you need more time, I swear I’ll take care of you.” Whispering in her ear as she buries her face in my neck, breathing deep finally, if a little raggedly. Her hands making fists in my shirt. I feel responsible for her fear even though I know that the meeting place was random. Just being tied to it in any way makes me feel responsible for it.
“If I don’t do this now, Sean, I never will. I can’t be afraid forever. I won’t. Please help me.” Her voice is breaking again near the end, as another wave of tremors wash over her. I hold her a little tighter, fighting with the part of me that wants to take her away from here and never have to look back. I hold onto her as she stands up, looking at the big front window of the bookstore. A man out front sweeping up the shattered glass stops to watch as she walks slowly across the sidewalk.
I nod to Dan as he comes out of the front door, concern etched on his face. She’s still so pale, her hand holding mine still trembling. “Jeanette?” She doesn’t look at him when he calls her name, I don’t think she can hear anything, her mind is held in that moment when gunfire ripped through that window. “Is she going to be okay? Maybe she should stay home…” Dan’s concern is evident, worry for her stamped on his features. He doesn’t touch her, not while I’m holding her, but if I wasn’t here, he would hold her, to keep her from being afraid if he could. I like the kid even more.
“I think she needs to do this, Dan.” We share a look. I would do anything to keep her from being here, from being this afraid, and he knows it. I look over at Alvarez, on Jeanette’s left. He’s talking quietly, very quietly into his cell phone, giving directions to someone. Between the three of us, it’s decided quietly to look out for her.
“I’ll keep her in the back, dealing with the books today, she won’t have to be out front much, and definitely not…” Dan doesn’t finish, just nods at the window out front. Jeanette’s hand tightens on mine as a look of hard determination crosses her face, walking towards that big front window. She stops as she gets to the middle, her eyes closed. I’ve shot people, and killed them. I beat a man to death once with my own hands. And there’s Stacy. I’ve seen death, and it still scares me. Jeanette might not have known the man that died in her arms, but it doesn’t lessen the terror she must have felt.
She relaxes her hands grip on mine, as I pull her to me, turning her face away from the window for a moment. Holding her tight, my hand stroking over her back. Leaning down to kiss her, the sound of her pulse racing in my ears. “I meant what I said, ‘Nette. You don’t have to do this, I’ll take care of you.”
She holds me tighter, her breath hitching for a moment before it evens out again, her forehead resting against my shoulder. “I need to do this, Sean. Will you call me today?”
“I would have insisted on it. You’ll call me if you get nervous or want to leave?” The colour starts to come back to her face as I talk to her, as she starts to get some control over her fear. I kiss her deeply before walking with her inside, watching her relax as she gets a little further from the open glass. We both whisper “I love you” at the same time, as we kiss again. We’re putting off leaving and knowing that we’re doing it doesn’t seem to be helping. Our fingertips touch as we separate.
Alvarez is at the door when I get there, hanging up on the call he had made. He stays quiet until we’re back out on the street, his voice cold and deadly serious. “I’m having someone watch the bookstore. Anything happens, and we’ll know before anybody else. Nothing’s going to happen to her, Vetter.”
My eyes don’t leave hers as we pull out into the street, leaving the bookstore behind. I miss her already.
copyright © 2006 xxxevilgrinxxx